


Like A Force To Be Reckoned With

by mercutiglo



Series: Song Fics [1]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Chap four has death and suicide mentions, Comfort, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masquerade, Plot twist these chapters are all actually connected, Rita Penumbra! My wife!, Song fic, Stitches, That wasnt intentional til i started writing chapter four, alcohol ment, more tags to come, reasoning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-20 13:43:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16138442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercutiglo/pseuds/mercutiglo
Summary: Sleeping at Last - Two"Like a force to be reckoned withA mighty ocean or a gentle kissI will love you with every single thing I haveLike a tidal wave I'll make a messOr calm waters if that serves you bestI will love you without any strings attached"





	1. Chapter 1

_ “When did you last eat? Come in and make yourself right at home, Stay as long as you need.” _

 

Juno was just getting into bed when he heard the knock at his door. He sighed, waiting to see if they would go away upon thinking that no one was home, but they kept knocking, this time harder, more insistent. He got up, shouting a weary “I’m coming, I’m coming, hold on” while he unlocked the door and opened it and…. Stopped. Standing in front of him was Peter Nureyev. But he looked different. Juno hadn’t seen him in a number of months, he’d been doing cases that had caused him to leave Mars, so some differences were to be expected, but he looked worse than seemed possible. He looked as though he had lost a number of pounds, his face seeming slimmer and yet the bags under his eyes looking bigger than ever before. His clothes were rumpled, ill-fitting, and dirty - three words that would normally never be used to describe Peter Nureyev. He was slumped against the wall of the hallway next to Juno’s door, and while Juno couldn’t tell what exactly it was, there was something wrong with the way that he was standing. 

 

He looked at Juno and tried to put on his best smile, but Juno could see that there was no feeling behind it, his eyes were filled with stories and pain. “Hey Juno, mind if I come in?”

 

Juno leapt forward to hug Nureyev close to him. He was taken aback by Juno’s sudden movement, but reciprocated when he noticed that Juno was nearly shaking. They stood that way for a moment, Peter trying to think of something clever to say, Juno trying to hold back tears of relief. When Juno pulled back, he didn’t let go completely, but grabbed Nureyev’s hand and pulled him inside. Once they were inside, Juno cupped Nureyev’s face in his hands, trying to get a good look at him, to figure out what had happened to the elegant man that had left him, where he was hiding. He kissed Peter, hard, but paying attention enough to tell that he was barely kissing back at all. He pulled back and told Peter, “I’ll go make you something to eat, make yourself at home.”

 

_ “It’s okay if you can’t find the words” _

 

Once Peter ate something Juno sat next to him on the couch, handing him a hot cup of coffee, taking the other one of his hands between his own and holding it tight. “Peter, you know I gotta ask. Where have you been? What’ve you been doing? What happened to you?” He could feel Peter freeze at the final question, and Peter just stared down at his cup of coffee. He didn’t say anything, but slowly a tear rolled down his face and into his cup. He seemed almost surprised by it, before looking up at Juno and just breaking down crying. “Oh no Peter honey, come here” Juno said, pulling him into his chest, where he started sobbing even harder. Juno couldn’t do anything other than rub circles into his back and reassure him, but it told him all he needed to know about the situations that Peter had been going through over the past few months. 

  
  


_ “A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss” _

 

The tears did not stop for a while and whenever Nureyev tried to speak through them, Juno would just shush him gently. Every minute or so, Juno would pull Peter’s hands off of his face and give him a raised eyebrow, silently asking if he was ready to talk yet. When he would shake his head, Juno would just kiss the backs of his hands and pull him back into his chest.

 

When Peter eventually calmed down a bit, he was able to start talking, but only from a position curled into Juno’s chest, staring down at the now cold cup of coffee. Peter explained his months of working out in the Outer Sector, the shady ships that he would hop between, the sketchy dealing even for him. It made him remember just how nice they had it here on Mars. When he first arrived out there, almost no one would talk to him because they all thought there was something wrong with the way he was dressed, looking so nice. He had gotten involved with a few people here and there, but it was nothing serious at any point, which Juno could do nothing but take his word for it, and anyways, Juno was the one that he came back to in the end, so it had to mean something if he ended up back in his lap. The reason he had come home was the fact that he was starting to get too well known in the Outer Sector, the jobs were getting more and more dangerous for less and less reward, constantly hiding from police and former employers. The only reason he managed to make it back to Mars was because there was some sort of trade ship he managed to sneak onto, hiding in the hull for the three weeks it took to get here. Juno listened intently, trying to figure out the best ways that he could comfort the man in front of him, rubbing circles into his side with his thumb and running his other hand through Nureyev’s outgrown hair. When Nureyev was reaching the end of his story, Juno had realized there was something that he could do to help Peter to feel more like himself. “Wait here, I’ll be right back, I think I have something for you. Okay?” Peter nodded, shifting so that Juno could get up off the couch. 

 

He went into his bedroom, turned on the light, and opened the closet. He rifled through the clothes for a moment before reaching the far right side of his closet. A few pairs of slacks, some shirts, a couple jackets, all Nureyev’s that he had left at Juno’s at some point or another. He grabbed the most casual looking outfit he could throw together and brought them into the bathroom before going back out into the living room. Peter looked up when he heard Juno come back in. “Go take a shower, you look like you need one. I put some clothes in there for you when you’re done. I’m gonna call Rita, let her know that I won’t be in tomorrow, tell her to see if she can work something out with a couple of clients.” Peter started to argue, say that he wouldn’t really need to stay very long, he just got back so late at night that he wasn’t sure where to go but Juno cut him off. “You can stay as long as you need, Peter. You can stay as long as you want, forever if that’s what you want. You’ll always be welcome.”


	2. Chapter 2

_“Like a tidal wave, I’ll make a mess.”_

The rain was deafening and if Juno hadn’t already given Peter a key, he wouldn’t have heard the knocking on the door. Not that someone opening the door to Juno’s apartment didn’t still send him reaching for a gun, because it did, but when he saw a drenched Nureyev barely managing to stand in the doorway, looking seconds away from collapsing, he immediately dropped whatever the nearest weapon he had grabbed was and shot over to the door. It had been about two weeks since he had last seen Nureyev, he was doing work out on Neptune so there was no real chance of him stopping by until his job was done, but he looked better than he had the last time he came back from off world. As Peter was starting to fall, Juno intercepted, catching him and dragging him over towards the couch, not caring about how he was getting everything soaked from the rain and…. Blood, coming from some sort of wound in Peter’s stomach. “Peter what the hell happened to you?” Juno asked, frantically running to grab towel out of the kitchen to press on the bleeding wound. “And also, why didn’t you go to oh, you know, a hospital?”

“Oh Juno, why would I do something like that? And what happened was a bastard out on the street tried to fight me, and I took his knife, so he took mine and stabbed me. With my own knife! Normally I’d be impressed, but really I’m just-” He had tried to sit up, causing him to become light headed and fall back down as Juno was running back into the living room with his first aid kit and an armload of towels. Luckily for Peter, Juno wasn’t the kind of person to keep a normal first aid kit, but the kind of person who kept plenty of definitely-not-stolen hospital grade supplies, including all the necessities to stitch up and take care of a stab wound.

“Next time, don’t get in a fight! And lay down, you have bled an impeccable amount just in my apartment, so I don’t wanna think about how much you bled in the hallway or outside.” A flash of lightning went just outside the window, almost immediately followed by a crack of thunder, causing the lights to flicker for a minute. “Let’s hope the weather doesn’t take the lights out, because these stitches aren’t gonna be pretty even if I can see what I’m doing, I don’t wanna know how bad they’d be if I couldn’t. And yes, this is gonna hurt, so no more joke cracking.”

The weather continued to get worse as Juno stitched up Peter’s abdomen, causing the lights to flicker more and more, resulting in an increased number of swears coming from Juno. At one point, Peter asked if there was anything he could do to help Juno out, and got only a hard glare in return. At one point Juno went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of bourbon out of the cupboard, taking a swig for himself before handing the bottle to Peter. “Going that badly, is it?” Peter asked, resulting in a final glare before the lights finally went out. Juno grabbed the flashlight out of the first aid kit, and had Peter hold it while he put the finishing touches on his stitches.

Once he was done bandaging over the stitches, Peter was starting to feel some of the alcohol he had, saying “Hey Juno, watch this” before doing shadow animals with the flashlight. Juno scoffed, reaching up, taking the flashlight out of his hand, the bottle out of the other, and setting them on the table before leaning in to Nureyev’s face, holding it in both hands and kissing him.

“So, what did we learn this time?” he asked after pulling back from the kiss.

“You’re really good at giving stitches?” The sly smile on Peter’s lips was barely hiding the laugh behind them.

Juno just laughed, kissing Peter again. “I learned you are an absolute mess, but I wouldn’t have you any other way.”


	3. Chapter 3

_ “It’s okay if you can’t catch your breath” _

 

Juno was finishing putting on his outfit in the full length mirror in the bedroom while Peter was getting ready and touching up his makeup in the bathroom, even though Juno had already told him that it didn’t matter that much if they were wearing masks. It was…. A Singularly Un-Juno Outfit, but God, if it wouldn’t look divine on Peter. It was a beautiful ballroom gown with a slight hi-low in the skirt (in case running needed to be done) that was a majestic midnight blue at the top and became an elegant emerald green by the bottom of the skirt, with shoes that looked like ballet slippers that had ribbons that went up to his knees, following the same color scheme. The topmost layer of fabric had silver threads running throughout, causing him to shimmer with every movement he made. The mask on the table next to him was a half mask that glittered with jewels, the same silver creating an illusion of scales, that when paired with the rest of the outfit made him look the human embodiment of the ocean, a true mermaid come to life, and Poseidon himself all in one outfit. Peter had insisted that he had to wear the same color of silver lipstick that he was wearing, so his makeup was simpler than Nureyev’s, but similar enough it would be clear that they were there together. Peter had managed to find silver mascara, which distracted Juno every time he blinked, but made his eyes truly pop against his skin, distracting from the scars that not even makeup could completely conceal. 

 

While Juno was standing there in front of the mirror, his mind was racing. He and Peter had to find two people and talk to each of them, compare what they each said about where the artifact they were looking for was, and get in and out with the item - a necklace, Peter might have said - all before the end of the party, or someone else figured out that they weren’t on the guest list. And Peter hadn’t given him any more details than that, which made Juno worried. Usually Peter was gushing with details, trying to make sure everything went off without a hitch, to make sure Juno didn’t accidentally say the wrong thing to the wrong person. So the fact that he had said hardly anything had to mean either one of two things: the details were going to worry Juno and that’s why he decided to keep them til the last possible moment, or, the more terrifying of the two options, Peter simply didn’t have any more information.

 

When Peter stepped out of the bathroom, he looked as though he had walked right out of Hyperion Fashion Week and for a moment Juno couldn’t catch his breath. He had a cape on that looked as though he had captured light itself and spun it into thread, it was the most brilliant silver and moved like water when he did. His top was a deep cut sleeveless tunic, the fabric a simple dark blue silk, coming to just above his knees. His pants were tight fit, the same dark green as the bottom edge of Juno’s dress, his shoes a classic dress shoe but in this instance they had diamonds encrusted into the edges. The collar of the cape added to the dramatic effect, and he had a silver choker that dangled small pearls. But, what it was that truly impressed were the silver designs that had been drawn onto his skin on his arms and torso where the tunic didn’t cover, ornately done to look as though they were real tattoos, intricate designs that seemed nearly floral in nature but then would swiftly change to become geometric, lines intersecting all over. He walked over to stand next to Juno so that he could see himself in the mirror, setting his mask on the table next to Juno’s, just as detailed as the rest of his outfit but this time the details were all in the midnight blue and emerald green of his outfit. When Juno looked up to Nureyev’s face, he saw a rather simple amount of makeup, some thin eyeliner, light mascara, surprisingly no eyeshadow, but his lips, curled into a sly smile, had the same silver lipstick that Peter had insisted upon Juno earlier. 

 

Juno was only able to keep staring, completely forgetting about all of his worries that had just been racing through his mind. “Ta da!” Peter said, striking a pose and making both of them laugh. Peter pulled Juno closer to him by his hip, looking in the mirror at the two of them together. “You know, Juno, it’s a shame we have to put these masks on, we look truly marvelous even without them.”

 

Juno looked in the mirror. Their matching outfits looked truly exquisite next to each other, and… “You know what. You were right, Nureyev. This lipstick does look really good on me. Let me see this though,” he said as he pulled aside from Nureyev, looking at the details on his chest and arms. “How did you manage to do this?”

 

Nureyev just smiled. “A true magician never gives away his secrets, Juno, you know this. Now, are you ready?”

 

_ “I know exactly how the rule goes, put my mask on first” _

 

Juno’s expression fell. “About that, no, I’m not.” Nureyev’s smile dissipated as Juno kept talking. “I know, I know the basics - Get in, schmooze, find Harley Robles and Aubrey Frazier, interrogate them both discretely and separately, compare where each of them says the necklace is, and then get the necklace and get out before the party ends and people start to realize that Nyx and Fae Valentine were never on the guestlist. But like, do we even know what those two look like? Do we know what the security detail looks like? Do we even know how many people are going to be here? Do we know what the necklace looks like? Do we have any ideas on where the necklace might be? Peter there are so many things that I don’t know that I’m worried about going into this, and you know it takes a lot for me to actually be worried about going into a case.”

 

“As I recall Juno, you usually have your fair share of apprehensions about every case we work on together.” Peter was reaching over towards the table to grab his mask, preparing to put it on while he continued talking. “And the answer to all of those questions is: I don’t know.”

 

Juno looked astonished. “You don’t KNOW? Peter what the hell does that mean?”

 

“It means exactly what you think it means, or has your hearing started to go as well? I wasn’t given any of that information and when I tried to look it up there were many many many layers and loopholes preventing me from getting to the information. So, we’re going off of what the employer told us, and looking spectacular while we do it.” He put the mask up to his face and turned around. When he spoke, Juno could tell that Peter was done answering questions. “Now, Fae, my darling, would you mind tying my mask for me?” 

 

Juno tied it, but refused to give in to Peter’s attempts to divert the topic. “Peter come on, you would never take a case based on that little information.”

 

Peter turned around and gave Juno a look as though to say ‘you need to start playing along.’ “I don’t know who this Peter fellow you’re talking to is, dear. You  _ know _ my name is Nyx. Now turn around let me help you get your mask on.”

 

Juno was trying to subdue the panic that was rising inside him. He didn’t want anything to go wrong, and they hadn’t even come up with a plan for what they would do if something went wrong. He didn’t know how they would find each other, anything. He was going into the case damn near blind, and as Nureyev was tying his mask on, it only made it harder to see. “Of course, darling. I’m just worried, what if I lose you in the crowd?”

 

Nureyev smiled back. “I’m sure you won’t, but if you ever need a break from the crowd, when you see me just say the word…. Two.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Important note: This chapter has more injury shit (not in detail) but also there's death mention and an implied suicide mention, so just like. If you're not in the headspace to read that, maybe hold off on this chapter.

 

_“No I don’t wanna talk about myself, tell me where it hurts”_

 

They had driven through the night to get back to Hyperion, not slowing down until they hit the city limits, even when they lost the lights of the vehicles looking for them. Neither one of them said a word the entire way back to Juno’s apartment. Juno had fallen asleep for a little while, which gave him a reason to not be overly talkative, but the resentment that was there between the two of them was nearly suffocating in the cab of the Ruby Seven. They had regular clothes in the back seat of the car, so once they were parked outside Juno’s apartment they took turns changing in the back seat, solidifying the severity of tension between them.

While Juno was changing, he noticed that there was blood dried into his dress. When he looked for the source, he noticed a wound in his shoulder that appeared to have come from a grazing bullet. He thought back, trying to remember how he didn’t notice getting shot, but then he remembered that right after he had grabbed the necklace, when the guards turned the corner into the room, they started firing and Juno had to jump around the corner and hit the ground with his shoulder, which must’ve distracted him from the pain of the bullet. The blood was dried all around it from the amount of time they had spent driving, but if he wanted it to heal properly he was going to have to disinfect it and get it stitched up, which would likely require Nureyev’s help, which he didn’t want right now. He threw his Jacket on and climbed out of the car so that he could let Nureyev change.

 

They through their fancy outfits into bags and brought them upstairs so that no one could accidentally find them anywhere and trace them back to the two of them. Juno immediately went to the kitchen to pour himself a tall drink, and then took that into the bathroom so that he could start on his shoulder. “Juno I need to bandage something up can I come in please?” he heard from outside the locked door, and he didn’t respond, just went back to disinfecting his own wound. About twenty seconds later, Peter opened the door anyways after having picked the lock. “Please Juno don- what happened?”

 

“You’re the one who said you needed to bandage something, do it and leave me alone.”

 

“Juno that looks nasty. Why are you so upset with me?” Juno continued to say nothing while he got a needle ready to stitch his shoulder back together. “Juno please talk to me, I can’t fix anything if I don’t know what’s wrong. Also give me that, you’re not stitching up your own shoulder.”

 

Juno yanked his shoulder away from Peter. “You wanna know what’s wrong? You really wanna know what’s wrong right now, Nureyev?” He glared at Peter, his expression angry.

 

Peter seemed confused and slightly hurt. “Yes, Juno. I do. That’s why I asked you what was wrong. Please let me help you with your shoulder.”

 

“No, deal with your own shit.” He shoved the first aid kit towards Nureyev and finished getting the needle ready and the wound sterilized. “I’m pissed off because you didn’t worry about finding out the details, you just thought ‘oh, we’ll just waltz right in and everything will be fine, we don’t need details.’ That’s not how things work, that’s NEVER how they work.” His glass was almost empty at this point, and he took a moment to slam the rest of it. “I’m pissed off that you put the both of us in this situation and -” He took a moment to look over at Nureyev and saw what it was he was dealing with. His left side looked as though someone had lit it on fire, a burn all over the side of his stomach extending up to his ribs. How Juno hadn’t noticed it before was beyond him. “What the hell happened to you?” He put down the needle and opened a cabinet to grab a tube of ointment and some burn patches.

 

“Look you don’t have to -” He stopped in the middle of his sentence when Juno started to apply the burn cream, the pain relief causing him to gasp. Juno ran his fingers over the scar where he had put stitches in Nureyev’s side only a few months ago. “Juno?”

  


_“And maybe one day I’ll get around to fixing myself too”_

 

“Why do we keep doing this?”

 

Nureyev looked at Juno, who just stood there and looked back, waiting for an answer. “Why do we keep doing what?” Juno shook his head, tired of playing Peter’s games. He handed the tube of ointment to Peter and grabbed his glass, heading back out to the kitchen to grab another drink. “Juno, I’m not sure what you’re talking about!”

 

“Peter you know damn well what I mean!” Juno was yelling now, and while he didn’t yell often, Peter could tell that this time he might have really dug himself into a hole. “Why do we keep living this life? We could be doing so many other less dangerous things! We shouldn’t have to keep living a life where we’re trading off who’s bandaging whose wounds! This is some macabre shit!” Peter made a face as though he had an argument to respond with, but Juno cut him off. “No, I don’t wanna hear it! I’m tired of living in situations where I don’t know who’s gonna get shot or stabbed next, what body parts I should be content with losing, or which one of us is more likely to _die_ , Peter. Have you thought about that? What am I gonna do if you die? What would you do if I died? I’d like to think you wouldn’t be able to just pretend I never happened to you, move on to the next planet and just start over til the same thing happens to you again, but even I can’t be sure. I-”

 

“Juno, you’re being ridiculous and you know it, and I won’t let you stand there and continue to act like this.” Now Peter’s expression was contorted with anger, and Juno’s was the one to become more concerned. Peter was never someone who displayed his anger, and Juno had no idea what was about to happen. “You know full well that I wouldn’t be able to just go on without you, so don’t act like you don’t know that. I think the question of what you would do is a rather good one though. Your entire schtick is the fact that you’re the depressed PI who can’t seem to catch a break, despite the fact that the months you’ve been you’ve seemed to be the happiest you’ve ever been.”  
  
“Watch it.”   


“So what would you do? Mope around here until Rita finally came calling, wondering what the hell had happened? Go after someone to hopelessly try and fill the emotional void? Here’s an even better question if we’re dealing with my hypothetical death: how long would you last?” They both let that question sit in the air, staring at each other. Juno’s face looked hurt, like he couldn’t believe that Peter had the gall to ask him that question. Peter’s face looked like he couldn’t believe it either.

 

Juno grabbed the bottle and went towards the door, putting his shoes on. “Juno, stop, no, I don’t know where that came from, I’m sorry, I-”

 

Juno turned around and gave Nureyev a look that was sharper than some of Peter’s favorite knives. “No, you know what? You’re right, it is a good question. And you wanna know the answer? Not long enough to fix myself, which is clearly what you’re expecting.”

 

Peter couldn’t catch his breath til after the door in front of him slammed shut.


	5. Chapter 5

_ “I don’t even know where to start, already tired of trying to recall when it all fell apart” _

 

Juno was over at Rita’s again. It had been almost a month since he walked out of the apartment on Peter, and he hadn’t seen or heard anything of him since then. She hadn’t pushed him for any information over this time, but it was starting to get to the point where if he didn’t start talking, it was only going to manifest in worse and worse ways. He was curled up on her couch under a blanket, a cup of hot cocoa that Rita had put into his hands cooling between them, staring blankly at whatever show was flashing by on Rita’s TV, not paying any attention to what was happening. Rita picked up the remote and turned the TV off before sitting down on the couch next to Juno. He looked up at her, and he looked so sad on an internal level. “Boss we gotta talk about this.” 

 

Juno sighed and readjusted himself on the couch so that he was sitting up a little more. “Talk about what, Rita.” He took a sip from his mug of cocoa, trying to act nonchalant about the fact that by this point it was cold. 

 

“Mistah Steel, it’s been almost a month and ya haven’t been yourself this entire time, but also ya haven’t told me anything about what happened except that you and Mistah Nureyev got into a fight and frankly that’s not really enough info considering you’ve barely done anything since then, you haven’t taken any new cases, you only barely got through the ones you had when this happened. If ya wanna get better, ya gotta talk it out, Mistah Steel. And we both know ya ain’t got a whole lotta other friends who’re gonna listen to this, or that you’d even tell. So either you can start talkin’ or I can start askin’ questions that you’re not gonna like until you do start talkin’.” Rita stared at Juno as he stared down at his mug, thinking of which option would be less painful.

 

“Rita it’s not that simple, there are a lot of things-”   
  


“Then just start talkin, boss. You’ll get through all the details eventually.”

 

He looked up at Rita, silently asking her if she was really ready for all of this. She tried to soften her glare, but she was unrelenting, not backing down. He sighed and started. “He was gone for months. I had a vague idea of where he was, but I didn’t really know anything, and I had started to accept the possibility that he was never coming back. And then he did.” Rita adjusted herself on the couch so she was more comfortable, unsure of how long storytime was actually going to end up being. “And that’s what kept happening. He would say ‘oh I’ve got a case I’ll be back’ and disappear for weeks to months on end, coming back looking like shit. So then he starts getting me involved in cases, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it meant that his shitty antics that he was able to float by on by himself were now getting me in danger too. And what pushed us was the last one we did, where all he knew was a couple names and a vague idea of what we were there to get. No knowledge about security, nothing, claimed it was all buried under layers and layers of security and if I had realized how fucked we were I would’ve messaged you immediately to help us out of it, Rita, but I didn’t get a chance to. Maybe he was tired of me always asking for your help, but you get us out of so many things and I don’t appreciate you enough for it. Both of us were pretty hurt physically and emotionally after the case, some feelings were voiced that didn’t need to, and I walked out of the apartment because he brought up shitty but good points. And when I got back he wasn’t there. No note, nothing. I have no idea even where he is.” By this point he was crying and hardly realizing it, suddenly becoming aware of the tears when he stopped and wiping them away. “And that’s what’s wrong. Is I have no idea where he is or if he’s ever coming back.” The tears started to stream even more.

 

Rita moved closer to him on the couch, giving him a hug. “Oh come on now, Mistah Steel. I’m sure he’ll turn back up eventually.”

 

_ “I just wanna learn how, somehow, to be loved myself” _

 

Juno leaned into the hug, surprising Rita, but she didn’t flinch away from it. “How can you be so sure, Rita? How can you be sure he’ll come back? Half the time people never come back after they leave me and not only the ones that leave in a body bag.” He laughed a little at his joke, but Rita’s face was less chipper. “Rita, what if he actually never comes back? What if this time I’m the one receiving the body bag of Peter Nureyev? Am I even that important to him?”

 

“Now Mistah Steel, of course you’re that important to him, don’t you talk like that. And he’s a grown man, he can take care of himself and ya know what even if he comes back with a couple more scars than last time well he’ll still come back. He won’t be coming back in a body bag unless that’s the only way he can get past security and you know it. And he’d think it was funny for a moment, and then you’d get upset and he’d calm you down and everything would be fine. Everything will be fine.” Juno laughed a little more, but Rita could tell he was still unsettled and his mind was racing with other possibilities of what could be happening to Peter at that very moment. “How about we watch a movie instead? I’ve got some great comedies that Franny recommended for me.” Juno nodded as Rita moved to set the movie up.   
  


\----

 

Once Rita was sure that Juno was gonna be okay after insisting that he go sleep at home, Rita picked her comms up from where she had left it on the other chair in the living room. “Did ya get all that conversation earlier? Please tell me you did, I know my comms wasn’t in the best place but I did the best I could do without him gettin’ suspicious.”

 

“I did, if was in a just fine spot, but Rita. Are you sure this is a good idea? What if he’s still just angry and doesn’t want to talk?”

 

“Look, you heard how broken up he is. Mistah Steel has been through a lot of shit, and a good number of relationships that he thought meant more than the other person did. And I’ve talked him out of a lot of these ruts that he’s in right now. But this is the worst rut that I’ve ever seen him in. He’s usually better about the whole ‘well that’s just how life is and blah blah blah my life is hard but that’s how it’ll be til I die in a cold ditch so might as well keep doing things’ attitude adjustment, but it’s not working this time. I think he wants to talk to you more than anyone else in the world.”

 

“But what if he’s still angry? What if he doesn’t want to see me?”

 

Rita took a moment to stare off, trying to collect herself and keep from screaming at her comms. “Do you even hear yourself? Are you really bein’ serious right now? Of course he wants to see you! Are you out of your mind?! So what if he’s angry, he’ll get over that faster than you can even imagine! He loves you so much! And you love him! And before you even try to argue with me, think about the fact that you told me to call you before I asked him questions so that you could hear if he was saying mean things. He cares about you and your safety! He doesn’t want you to die! So I expect to show up to work tomorrow and get a happy call about ‘Oh Rita, I’m so sorry I can’t come in to work today, he came back and everything’s wonderful.’ Pull yourself back together and show him that you love him, and that he’s worth being loved. Because it means something very different when you say it.”

 

“Rita, I-”

 

“You have no idea how you’ll ever repay me, yadda ya, I’m a big fan of chocolate and I’ll send you some links for some shoes I’ve really got my eyes on. Talk to you later, Mistah Nureyev.”


	6. Chapter 6

Juno got home from Rita’s and wasn’t sure if he actually felt better or not. He had never really been much of an actor but he was good enough to get by with a lot of things and he never really called it acting, more just…. Lying. He sat in the car for a few minutes, the radio turned almost all the way down, providing white noise more than music. In all honesty, he wasn’t ready to try and start moving on because what if Rita was right, but he felt like he had to start moving on because what if Rita was wrong. He determined he could sleep on it for at least one more day. He got out of his car, making sure to grab his bag from his stop at the liquor store on the way home. Just because he had talked with Rita didn’t mean he couldn’t handle things in his own way as well. 

 

When he entered his apartment, he didn’t see anything wrong in the dark. He set his bag down, taking off his shoes and throwing his jacket on the hook near the door. When he turned the lights on, he nearly screamed, drawing his gun out of his coat, before he noticed who it was. Juno tried to think of something to say, tried to think of all the things he wanted - no, needed - to say but all he was doing was opening and closing his mouth like a fish. “Hello, Juno. You look a little tired, a little worse for wear. Have you been eating?” Nureyev stood up from Juno’s couch, started walking towards where he was standing, frozen, gun lowered, tears starting to well in his eyes. 

 

“Peter.” Juno looked up at him as he came closer, grabbing Juno’s shoulders for a moment before pulling him in. “Peter, wh….”

 

“Shh shh shh, it’s okay. I’ll explain. But before that.” He drew back, continuing to hold Juno by his shoulders, Nureyev’s face turning from slightly pitiful to guilty. “Juno, I am so, so,  _ so _ sorry. I should never have done that to you, especially after what I said.” He looked to Juno for a response, but the tears had started falling and Peter didn’t know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. And maybe Juno didn’t either. All he did was reach up and grab Peter’s face, pulling it down towards his own, kissing him gently.

 

He broke the kiss, pulling back only slightly. “Why did you leave? But more importantly, why did you come back? What do I have to offer you?” There was a little bit of bitterness and sadness creeping into his voice as he asked.

 

Peter pulled Juno back in close, so he couldn’t see as his own eyes started to well up. “Juno I left because I love you. And I came back because I love you, and  _ I just want to love you well _ . It doesn’t matter what you have to offer me. I want you to know that  _ I will love you with everything I have _ \- my name, my past, my future, my life. And I know that I’ve done a lot of things that we need to talk about, and that there are strings you need to keep me in line. But I also know that you think there has to be some catch, some reason for me to keep coming back to you, strings of my own. 

 

_ But I will love you without a single string attached.” _

**Author's Note:**

> oh man she's all done now oof. Reminder that you should check out the song this is based off of: Two by Sleeping at Last. (i dont love the ending right now so who knows maybe some day i'll come back and change it)
> 
> hey yo thank you for reading shout out to the penumbra mini bang sleeping at last fans that made me do this
> 
> this is unbeta'd so if there are mistakes whoopsies
> 
> Kudos and comment if you enjoyed it. Feel free to send me good songs that would make excellent painful songfics on tumblr/twitter/discord @mercutiglo
> 
> (Also, just to put it out there, this is not my song, the lyrics are not mine and clearly defined from the parts of the work that are mine, this work is simply based off of the lyrics and I lay no claim to the actual lyrics. I highly encourage the OG song by Sleeping At Last, it's good shit, I'm not tryna steal any of it.)


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